The Prepper Wars

Once upon a time in a galaxy far far away known as PrepperLand, there was peace and harmony among the residents. Then came the Newbies spawned by election of the evil Lord Obama. The Newbies were all aglow with excitement and daring, full of fear of what their Dark Lord had in store, so they forthwith decided en-masse to embark upon the Land of the Preppers. With their millions of coinage and total lack of knowledge and skills, they began to attempt an overthrow of PrepperLand.

Their first goal was to glean vast amounts of wisdom from the writings of those living in PrepperLand. Swiftly they scanned the Volumes of Lore found at their fingertips, quickly assimilating the knowledge through sweat and blood and much thought hard-won - but only the parts that suited their fancy. (How smug they remained!)

How quickly the Dark Lord's minions did see a most confusing thing: there was diversity and difference among those living in PrepperLand. But they saw, too, the agreement and going forward and accomplishment these brave souls achieved!

"Aha!" thought those of the Dark Lord. "Their cause we can thwart, discredit their leaders, confuse their ranks in a most astounding and simple way! We cannot allow such accomplishment here! We must, quickly, cause despair! It is our calling, has it not always been so? to confuse and confuddle, to falsify claims and destroy perfect aims?

"We can quickly begin this moment our victory to achieve: let us among them spread confusion and bitterness and inferiority, with simple boasts of our achievements and the mighty ideals we have as to how they should be!"

"Let us cause them dismay with the glory of our abodes and the preparations we've made, there to confuse and create disarray, confuddle their minds with our own display of how they should be!

"Let us blow them away with how truly unprepared they must be since but one or two, not all, as we can see, are living in castles as we, with moats surrounded and storehouse complete.

"Let us among them cause rife and distress- especially those who so clearly have less- thereby in minds not agile as ours show how poorly they really are blessed.

"We can impress them with our ample supplies and our skill-at-arms lies! We can denigrate their style and their plans cruelly mock, show them we are the ones who can stock!

"Anonymousely we can deride and cajole, foolish make them feel and show how impoverished they be without the coinage we have in quantity.

"Let us their arms deride- they're not the best that money can buy!

"Put down their ideas- lest they actually compete with us for the stores on the street!

"We shall storm their writings with accusations unfounded and silly and trite- let us show them the power of our wisdom confused and the waste of their sacrifice. "With words we can stifle, cause dissension and doubt. We can make them inferior by our simple claims that theirs is truly lost aim."

So suddenly storms upon PrepperLand raged, litning created by Liberals staged. The bolts they were mighty, upon the seemingly weak they raged. Flash and bang and thunder did rail but none of those in PrepperLand quailed for against these they had quietly prepared, warning each other of what in the shadows did lurk.

From trailer to trailer did the message get sent: "Beware! Beware, the libs do quib and cause dissent and think they attack with cunning...let them not know we see them coming.

"Allow them in close, we can surely not miss with our arms they dismiss.

"Let them deride and chide and scold- we are made from a better mold. We know not what the future may hold- but they in their glibness surely must think they have all the answers written in ink.

"Allow them into our bases of knowledge- we know they cannot attain through their college the skills we have so studiously gained.

"For pass they must the most poor of OP's with shooters uncanny in skill and Ghillies.

"Let them believe they have learned of the lessons we spoke. And when they arrive, send them up in gun smoke.

"Let them believe their castle and moat are the best to be had, let them believe we in trailers are weak. Let them not see the strength we attain through struggle and pain.

"Let them languish in dread as the rovers are fed with stocks and supplies they were certain were sealed in caverns of lead.

"Allow them to foolishly claim there is no reason to aim for Secondary Plans and Alternate Routes through jungle maze and streets so razed by Zombie horde and Street-wise Lord- they will see the err of their arrogance.

"Be it too late, we can not wait for them to see the light that no one knows or can ascertain just what it is for what we prepare.

"Let us not entertain their foolishness game but continue to prep and stock and supply full knowing we are right in our sight and none can claim better to know how to play this game that none before has ever bore or even come close to know."

Bless God,
Shy